day thirty-one | core story

prompt: core story
What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?
(Author: Molly O’Neill)

In my house my mantle is filled with the word "believe". It is the guiding word I chose for our family, years ago, in 2003, when Caden nearly drown and the effect it had on everyone in my home. (It's alternative would be resilience.) You can't go through the day in my house without seeing this word. It is positive, upbeat, and encouraging. It is the start and the end of all things.

Like everyone, I've had some huge events in my life and I've learned that I have a choice: react well or react badly. I can choose to be a negative person: which is easy, as it comes naturally; or work, daily, at being a positive and upbeat person who attempts looking for the bright side, even when that light is dim and distant.

I choose to believe in, encourage and embrace positive energy, positive curiosity, positive chances, positive projects, positive thoughts, positive ideas, positive inspiration. I choose to do that with photos + words which I share with the world in the form of blogs, galleries, facebook, conversations, albums, journals, relationships and choices.

My core story? In spite of it all, I choose to believe in the good, the kind, the positive, the light.

day thirty | gift

prompt: gift
This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?
(Author: Holly Root)

The most lovely gift I received this year was the gift of love and support.

I went through a spirit shattering June and suffered through a devastating, complete emotional tailspin, as a result. Most of July and August are a blur to me. Some residual gunk continues to reverberate through my being and I don't think I'll ever be quite the same again. (Note to self: when you think things can't get any worse, think again.)

The gift? Though most were utterly oblivious to what was going on, my friends through love and support, kept me grounded, confident and peaceful. My children, equally oblivious, continue to be my reason for being and the focus of all good things in my life. I am grateful for the laughter, love, support  and hugs shared with me in the nadir of my year.

day twenty-nine | defining moment

prompt: defining moment
Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.
(Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)

Validation is a wonderful thing. My autumn was filled with creative encouragement from a number of inspiring sources, so many I admire.

As a direct result of "what the hell - just go for it", I sent in my resume and received an incredible note to my inbox: I was asked to join the tremendous ladies at Ella Publishing Co. on their creative team; totally out of the blue I was chosen to participate in the Passport to Creativity section of the Winter Issue of Canadian Scrapbooker Magazine and was published for the first time ever in this Canadian-only magazine; I was chosen to join the talented ladies over at Paper Issues; as a huge fan of the Log Your Memory system, I submitted some layouts one of which was chosen for the 2011 edition - and I was asked to join the challenge team for the first six months of 2011, as well! To top it all off, I received kind notes to my e-mail, on my blog, on facebook and on twitter from creative women I admire, emulate and provide daily inspiration for me.

Swoon.

2010 was a hell of a defining creative moment!

day twenty-eight | achieve

prompt: achieve
What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.
(Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

I want to achieve less in order to appreciate more.

I imagine, above all, I will feel a sense of relief. 

I want less of me.
I want less to organize.
I want less to launder.
I want less to cook. Or, less ingredients. Less complicated, surely.
I want less on my to-do lists.
I want less "should"
I want less gossip.
I want less frustration and anger.
I want less noise and confusion.
I want less meaningless stuff surrounding me.

Less is sounding better and better! I didn't just start today, I've been thinking on less for a while - now it's time to work on less.

day twenty-seven | ordinary joy

prompt: ordinary joy
Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?
(Author: Brené Brown)

My life is all about the ordinary - though I have discovered that my ordinary day is a bit busy for most people to consider low-key or mundane! Every day around here is an adventure of some kind with my four children going in four different directions, often at one time. My greatest joy is when all of them are in the family room watching a movie, playing a card game (cribbage is the latest favourite) or just horsing around - you know that couple of joyful minutes before it gets completely out of hand? That is a great time. I enjoy when I hear my kids engaging with each other, with no interference from anyone, when they choose to be with each other.

day twenty-six | soul food

prompt: soul food
What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?
(Author: Elise Marie Collins)

Located in our local mall, a dingy, half-empty, unwelcoming place, I found a tiny little Moroccan restaurant that opened a little while back. Louis had been there a couple of times as he's all about the gastronomical adventure; in general, I am not. We went over for lunch one day while the kids were in school. Earlier this year I had discovered my violent intolerance of cheese, I was having a terrible time trying to find a replacement for that savoury, rich, textural experience.

I found it: BBQ Calamari Al Andalusia. Savoury. Rich. Hearty.

Heaven in a bowl.

day twenty-five | photo

prompt | photo – a present to yourself
Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
(Author: Tracey Clark)

This shot was taken by my daughter Claire when my sister came into town for a baby shower in November. It was a nice change to have her come visit with us as she normally chooses to be in downtown (I live in the burbs) which is more convenient for her to visit with her friends. I was grateful for the change! This captures me (maybe a bit more of me than I'd like) at my most unguarded. It was a fun evening, the type of relaxed and easygoing time of which I'd like to enjoy more. I'm very comfortable in my solitude, too comfortable by some accounts, and every once in a while I should make more of an effort to engage and socialize. I'm glad my sister gave me that kick in the pants!

day twenty-four | everything's okay

prompt | everything’s okay 
What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
(Author: Kate Inglis)

Proof that I can do anything, and that everything in my little family will be okay, was when I managed to take all four kids to Cape Cod this past summer. Included in that little adventure was 20+ hours in the truck, over the border, including one speeding ticket and a quick overnight stay in a hotel, followed by five days in Cape Cod to visit the beach and my parents. Many daily adventures were packed into every minute. We returned in one piece, in good spirits and anxious to head back. I realized not only could I do anything, we could do anything.

day twenty-three | new name

prompt: new name
Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?
(Author: Becca Wilcott)

With all that is both good and bad about my name, I really can't imagine myself with any other. I attempted a similar exercise this past summer when reading through Twyla Tharp's The Creative Habit and was stuck at that point too. I've thought about it on occasion - especially as a writer, I've considered a pen name but can't imagine being referred by any but my own name!

day twenty-two | travel

prompt: travel
How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
(Author: Tara Hunt)

This past year held one meagre travel opportunity: I managed to squeeze in five days and took all four kids to Cape Cod for a holiday during their summer break. Only five days available in ten weeks because their schedules demanded that we be home for camps, hockey commitments, football games and plans with friends. It was a wonderful five days filled with new adventures, seafood, trips to the beach, visits to the mall, walking through Chatham, consuming ice cream, shark sightings, overflowing dishwashers, huge blue hydrangeas, high tides, sea knot bracelets, singing in the wind, soaking in the rain, engaging with grandparents, collecting rocks and sea shells and snoozing in the truck during the 10-hour drive there and another 10-hours back again.

For next year, in addition to heading back to the ocean with the kids, I've been thinking about taking a couple of trips, for myself. Some place warm. Some place contemplative. Some place rejuvenating. I don't know where that will be exactly, but I'm anxious to go!

day twenty-one | future self

prompt: future self
Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)
(Author: Jenny Blake)

Breathe. Slow down. Enjoy. Include them. Hold your tongue. Submit it. Finish.

day twenty | beyond avoidance

prompt: beyond avoidance
What should you have done this year but didn't because you were to scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
(Author: Jake Nickell)

My ongoing issue is my weight. I am double the woman I once was.

There are a couple of issues starting with my need for instant gratification. A most recent example: if I'm gaining weight because, according to the health experts, I'm eating too much cheese, why when I give up cheese (which I have now for two or more months) do I not lose weight as a result?

The bigger issue though is my using my weight as my armour. My excuse for not engaging. My fall-back. It is fascinating how I can fill up a room physically and still be completely invisible to those around me. I have come to terms with how weight is my armour and the list is quite extensive and somewhat disturbing.

I may not address my weight issue in the coming months, but I will be dealing with my armour issues.

day nineteen | healing

prompt: healing
What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
(Author: Leoni Allan)

This year was not one of healing. Maybe more one of diagnosing? Maintaining the status quo? Experimentation? Nothing was made worse, but there was no healing, for me.

I am, of course, referring to my struggle with psoriasis.

I learned a lot while researching how best to heal Claire of her eczema in a non-invasive more natural method devoid of steroids or medication which have adverse long-term implications. I don't want to mask her eczema, I want to eradicate it. We are attending a local naturopath in order to address her allergies and other sensitivities. We've learned through traditional medicine (thank you Dr. Roisin via Dr. Oz) that psoriasis and eczema manifests as a result of an allergy, it's not just simple dry skin. Really, really annoying dry skin. We are treating it through less (or more, depending on your approach) traditional methods: electronic acupuncture and natural supplements.

Next year, I'll get treatment as well and welcome the results!

day eighteen | try

prompt: try
What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did/didn't go for it?
(Author: Kaileen Elise)

So many of the things I tried last year, many way out of my comfort zone, provided positive and often unexpected results.

I'd like to continue to embrace imperfection in 2011 and not let fear stop me from trying:

• all of the things on my creative to-do list - get messy!
• losing weight and become more active every day with no excuses
• make a trip into Toronto once a month to visit places I love: the ROM, the AGO, Massey Hall and various shows - feed my soul
• read more books - biographies and fiction
• open an ETSY shop
• spend more time with the people who make me happy
• focus on "do"
• continue on my path of less

I'm enjoying this slow evolution of me.

day seventeen | lesson learned

prompt: lesson learned
What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?
(Author: Tara Weaver)

I learned to value curiosity.

When I was growing up it was thought rude to ask questions. My mother would filter information, put her spin on things and spew her version of the truth. No questions allowed. Certainly no source checking! The upside? I became very observant of people. Small things like body language, facial twitches, expressions are fascinating; as is where people choose to stand when they enter a room, the people they engage with, the people they avoid. Often, as subtle as we all think we are, we really are not.

This year I continued in my effort to ask questions. Show genuine curiosity.

Why? I have been accused of being aloof. Disengaged. Nothing could be further from the truth, but people want you to talk. I can talk, and once I get going it really is hard to shut me up! I do my best to listen and watch rather than talk, but when I'm nervous I prattle on about complete nonsense and sound like a real dummy! Couple that with a glass or two of wine and oh my goodness.

I've enjoyed getting to know people better. Or, really, I've enjoyed hearing what they've had to say.

day sixteen | friendship

prompt: friendship
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was the this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
(Author: Martha Mihalick)

It took me a long time today to put some thought into my approach to the prompt. Another challenge to how much I share. I am learning that the more I share the more I'm shielded from mean. After all, if I can give voice to my fears, my joys, my challenges, how can anyone come at me with that same information in a negative light and hurt me?

The fact of the matter is that I am an introvert often find myself to be socially awkward - it actually gets worse the older I get! I have a blog to give myself the voice I find stifled in my everyday world. I have opinions and ideas and the expression of those ideas are given a voice, growing in volume, right here on the www.

I don't have a large circle of friends, what I do have is a good circle of friends; a genuine group of kind hearted, generous spirited women who accept me as I am just as I accept who they are, the good, the bad, all of it. To me more is not better, more is just more.

This year (maybe a little more) presented many challenges to me. Though I have always felt I had something to contribute to the world, I was content not to define what that was nor did I have the courage or fortitude to do anything about it. With the encouragement of friends, and a special group of women I greatly admire, I left my safe place and did two things:

1. embraced authenticity in my writing, blogging and memory keeping
2. submitted my work to publishers, blogs and design teams

Had you asked me last year if this was possible for me to do either of those two things, I would have laughed and thanked you for your kindness. Then I would have given you a firm "no".

Without my friends; real, virtual, related, unexpected; and all respected, none of this past year of confidence, creativity and courage would have been possible. Now there's no turning back!

day fifteen | 5 minutes

prompt: 5 minutes
Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.
(Author: Patti Digh)

Okay, 10:15AM, timer on ... go:

• driving Claire and Cole to school in the morning - one of those nice mornings where we weren't rushing (too much) and had a nice talk in the car during the 10 minute drive.
• my sister Beth, after an evening out and a martini, dancing in the den and my kids watching in awe.
• my kids splashing and laughing in the waves at the beach in Cape Cod.
• the girls joyfully leaving for Florida, their glee only equalled by the boys knowing the house would be sister-estrogen-free for a week
• the joy and chatter of Caden when his team won their hockey tournament.
• watching and listening to Chloe sing with abandon. 
• attending my sister Natalie's baby shower and watching her with baby Ava.
• so much silliness enjoyed at our kitchen table during dinners and the occasional family brunch.
• lunch with my best girlfriends: Lindy, Lorraine and Elaine - followed closely by watching them at the slots at Fallsview.
• when Claire earned Optimates (honours) for her first year of high school and then at the celebratory dinner in the fall.
• the surprise felt by us all when, after Cole won the Athlete of the Year honours, minutes later he also won the Arts Award.
• the first sip of coffee in the morning while enjoying the view.
• the year of the 3-D glasses, Jamie Oliver was welcomed into our lives,
• watching the kids kayaking - silently drifting by the shore. 
• my dad, excited like a little kid, showing off the newest addition to his art collection.
• my boy Cole, on stage - a real stage, not a rink; and, Claire too!
• the rare occasion when the household chores were completed and I didn't have to ask - memorable because it happened the one time.
• helping me in the kitchen, Caden.
• the quiet moments when the kids all get along.
• Chloe and Caden running to the car with their final year-end report cards, anxious for me to read.
• unexpected, welcome and affirming e-mails received from some incredible women
• being able to see (and seeing) my sister Andrea and her family now that they live in town.
• the utter joy on Chloe's face when she was accepted into Appleby for next year.
• the tears of happiness at my parent's anniversary party this past weekend.
• the awe of Jonah watching his "hero" Cole play hockey
• watching Claire at the rink with Oskar, leaning into him, so comfortable and him smiling in response.
• my boy Caden in his first tuxedo - with the flashy silver tie and vest. 

A quick spell check (not even for content!!). Done. My first thought after proofing: this is going to be an amazing album. I hope I have photos to go with most of this stuff!!

So much goodness shared this year.

day fourteen | appreciate

prompt: appreciate
What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?
(Author: Victoria Klein)

I have truly come to appreciate my children as individuals. They are all so different from each other. They teach me, every day, how to raise them. There is some commonality in our household, but they've taught me to appreciate the individuals they are becoming in ways unique to each of them. I express my gratitude for the challenges posed by learning as much about their interests as possible. By being better informed I can ask them relevant questions, perhaps push their knowledge and curiosity as well as build a firm foundation for a more evolving relationship with each of them.

day thirteen | action

prompt: action
When it comes to aspirations, it's not about ideas. It's about making things happen. What's your next step?
(Author: Scott Belsky)

Now this prompt, in contrast to yesterday, is right up my alley - practical, positive and inclusive. Yay.

I read the prompt and I immediately took the following actions:

1. Signed up to follow Scott Belsky on Twitter
2. From there I went to www.behance.com and with giddy delight looked at words like "empower" and "creative" and "insights" and "task management" and clicked on to read their blog, did and then added it to my Google reader
3. Of course, I signed up to follow Behance on Twitter as well

It looks like I'm going to have to figure out how to fit some Twitter in my day.

I spent most of 2010 trying to "focus" on what I wanted to do. I read many books and articles, I've amassed a monstrous collection of ideas and projects, I have piles and piles of paper holding snippets of brilliance, all over my studio. After a full year of curating, I am now in a position where I'm itching to get started. I no longer feel like I'm in a creative drought, but more a condition more akin to creative overwhelm.

It is now time to DO something about it.

Some time in early November, my thoughts went from "focus", my guiding word for 2010, to what's next? What will my word be for 2011? Many words, including "action" came to mind, but I finally settled on "do". Over the last couple of years I've participated in the idea of choosing a guiding word for the year, my first attempt was "balance" and I'd consider it a fail; "focus" on the other hand was a resounding success. I have signed up over at Big Picture Classes to follow Ali Edwards class: One Little Word in order to add a bit of community to the experience.

The idea is "do" is more than "make" or "create" or "invent" or "action". The word "do" is action based and my actions are to create things; but, since this is a guiding word for my life, my whole life, and that life includes four children and the laundry, cooking and cleaning that comes with it, "do" seems to set the right tone to have a year with results without focusing on the results.

My actions right now include (I'm a mum, it is impossible to pick only one or two):

• Collect all of my projects and deadlines to update my 2011 calendar - on line and on paper
• Find a new home for my calendar and lists and be consistent
• Create enough product in order to start up and maintain my space on ETSY
• Update my household control journal with newly discovered and successful recipes
• Purging the laundry room which is currently reproducing at an alarming rate
• Finding snow clothes for Claire's trip to Tamogami
• Review The Creative Habit again and create interactive outline

That should keep me busy for the next little while!

day twelve | body integration

prompt: body integration
This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment when there wasn't a mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?
(Author: Patrick Reynolds)

To date I've enjoyed the #reverb10 prompts. Today? Not so much. I don't like anything contrived or overt attempts at clever, both of which I believe this prompt represents. Nevertheless, I will attempt to participate.

I feel firmly integrated with my body every single day. It's not like I can get away from it. I'm not tiny enough to escape it even if I tried. I live every day, alive and present, in a cohesive me. I feel terrible that people might suffer from non-integration. It sounds painful. Cohesively painful.

day eleven | 11 things

prompt: 11 things
What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these things change your life?
(Author: Sam Davidson)

11 things my life doesn't need:

Lies. 
Specifically anyone perpetuating the lies of my youth - those mean stories made up by my mother. Grow up.

Weight. 
The 100 or so unnecessary pounds I'm lugging around with me every day.

Projects. 
Well, no more new projects until the old projects are completed!

Piles.
Laundry and paper. I have to come up with some kind of simple solution to keeping up with it all.

Smoke. 
Or the lies that come with hiding the smoke. Just quit. Or get out. I've had enough.

Excess.
Sugar. Activities. Chores. Assignments.

Excuses.
I know, scary.

Guilt.
Even scarier!

Mean.
I'm tired of mean-spirited people who make themselves feel better by making others feel badly.

Perfect.
It's overrated, inaccessible and boring. Let's all just strive for excellence, shall we?

Apologies.
Unless it comes with a change in behaviour. Otherwise, keep your insincerity to yourself.

BONUS WORD: 

Talk.
Less talk, more do.

I only just come to terms with this list so I have no plan for how to eliminate the things identified above or the possible consequences, but now that I've thought about them, I'll come up with a plan. No doubt, follow-up will be involved. I'll be posting it on my home on the www some time before the New Year.

day ten | wisdom

prompt: wisdom
What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?
(Author: Susannah Conway)

I finally wrapped my brain around "what do I have to lose?" and went for it. The best decision I could have possibly made. It turns out I had everything to gain. It has changed my world, completely.

day nine | party

prompt: party
What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.
(Author: Shauna Reid)

I am not much of a party person. It took me a while to wrap my brain around the whole idea of this prompt. I pondered this for the better part of Thursday and when I had it all in my head realized I was running late for Cole's hockey game. So, instead of being late for that, I'm late for this!

It may be cliche, but the best party of the past year was the Vancouver Olympics held in February. It was the one event where my country put it's best on display, for everyone to see. From the slam poem read by the poet to open the games, to our first gold, to to the only gold that mattered in the collective consciousness of our country - the hockey gold, it was the most upbeat, positive, inspirational couple of weeks I've ever experienced. Canadians are often the quiet cousins to their more rambunctious American cousins - according to WikiLeaks we suffer a collective inferiority complex. I was so happy to see my country wear it's patriotism proudly with our red maple leaf mittens, enthusiastic beer consumption, and flag waving,

The television coverage was fantastic and though the event happened 4,400 kilometres away from my living room, I felt like I was involved in the whole experience. I don't know that I'll ever have an opportunity to experience such a spectacle again. I'm glad I took the time, and encouraged my kids to join me, in watching Olympic coverage 24/7 and participate in the best Canadian party this year :)

day eight | beautifully different

prompt: beautifully different
Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.
(Author: Karen Walrond)

Recently Karen asked a similar question on her blog - or was it twitter? or facebook? and I was stumped for a response. I am still stumped! Why?

I find myself to be so completely, more often than not, normal and *gasp* boring. I think that is why I can appreciate and embrace the brilliance of others so readily without any sense of competition or jealousy. I recognize the talent of others and though I cannot necessarily emulate them, I can take the lessons they teach and incorporate them. More often than not, the really special creatives, have been able to weave themselves right into the fabric of my soul. Through them, I look at the world differently now: bright eyes, clear heart, much enthusiasm.

All that being said, I am not a complete doormat or sponge. I have very definite opinions especially when it comes to my children. With and for my kids the only thing I am is fierce. I am the furthest thing from the increasingly popular stage mum or helicopter parent which seems to be acceptable and encouraged. I let my kids make decisions, make mistakes and guide them in their choices and pick them up, dust them off and send them back out to the world. I know they'll be knocked down regularly, it's my job to prepare them. Not prevent the knocks, but teach them how to deal with them when they come. And they will come.

Other things that come to mind?

• I'm a plus size in a single digit community, not easy some days
• I laugh at myself, regularly
• I am insatiably curious and love learning, thank goodness for the www
• I cannot stand anything sticky on my hands, not helpful when I want to try mixed media canvases!
• Rainy days and fog make me happy
• I've received many compliments on my laugh - it is big, loud, and genuine
• Tact is not a trait for which I have ever been accused
• I love distant sounds: train whistles, buoys on the waves, streetcar bells
• I have no problem being in the minority - after all, being right has nothing to do with being in the majority, right?
• I enjoy folding laundry but hate putting it away
• I dance, every day
• I sing, too

Hmm, maybe I am bit different after all. Beautiful or not, I'm certainly me, with no effort to be anyone else, every day.

day seven | community

prompt: community
Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?
(Author: Cali Harris)

[WARNING: when I read this prompt my brain was accosted - yes, accosted - with words, lots and lots and lots of words. My heart was overwhelmed with emotion. There is only one other word, of which I have no doubt will make it's presence known by the end of the month, fills me with such fear ... and vocabulary. I can only hope that the words make sense because even after writing what you read below, my brain is immersed in word and emotion soup.]

I have to say the communities in which I find the greatest challenge, understanding, acceptance and inspiration are on-line. The www can be so engaging and open with clear labels and expectation while simultaneously being so insular which greatly appeals to my inner introvert - hell, it greatly appeals to my outer introvert! I appreciate that I can engage without interrupting anyone - like a ringing phone or even a text - to give and take what I need and move on without any real intrusion on anyone. It appeals to my need for more, my need for efficient answers to my curiosity, which becomes more and more insatiable with the more exposure I have to such stimulating groups and ideas. I stay in these communities (blogs + creative collectives) as long as I contribute my ideas and creativity in a positive manner and receive inspiration in kind.

I continue to be involved in the local minor hockey community by virtue of having a husband on the local board and two sons on hockey teams - one at the rep level and the other at the house league level. They all bring their own set of diverse challenges. When sitting down with a girlfriend the other day we marvelled at how we would never have known each other if our boys hadn't had a mutual love for the game. Those within the hockey community who are friends tend to be like me: we have no personal ambition, we have driven children and are accepting of those who do not share our outlook. Though I have to admit I have no time and little patience for selfish or ambitious parents.

The one community in which I would like to more deeply connect would be my friends - those local ladies who challenge and inspire me. Not often enough! Our lives get in the way. You know, in that way you figure that since you are all local you'll find time to get together ... and don't. That small group of half dozen or so women who bring joy to me whether they mean to or not! I have high hopes that next year will bring greater engagement. I've learned some really great lessons in the last couple of years and I have these women to thank. I'd like to do just that this year!

I have three pretty distinct communities in which I'm involved. Daily. They all feed a different aspect of my life. I so greatly appreciate each one of them. Every day I am grateful for each community.

day six | make

prompt: make
What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?
(Author: Gretchen Rubin)

Lately I've been fascinated with specimen art. It appeals to my sense of clean lines with a simple single message. It is stylish, timeless and calm using simple materials of computer, printer, ink, scrapbook paper, foam adhesive and Ikea frames. I've been busy mixing and matching some ideas to make more.

My very first effort, a gift for my new niece:

Ava Art

This has been followed up with a number of requests for more. To the point where my next "make" might lead me to create an ETSY shop sometime in the new year. When I can make time for it. The welcome appreciation for the idea has been gratifying and fun.

The natural follow-up to this project is subway art or some such other frame-able idea. I'm still not sure, but I have to admit that my mind is spinning with ideas and that missed feeling of waking up and writing down ideas to quiet my mind has come back with a vengeance. That makes me so happy - giddy with relief, really.

Other recent makes (all 9" x 9" frames, art is 5"x5"):

and a 19"x19" version (art is 12" x 12"):

day five | let go

prompt: let go
What (or whom) did you let go this year? Why?
(Author: Alice Bradley)

I let go of fear.

Specifically fear of rejection. Creative rejection.

I still shiver with the memory of it all.

Sometime mid-year, I started to submit my work. My work. Not my work for others. For subjective input. It was a terrifying process. I am fine, indeed thrive, in my safe anonymous world, but to put my name to work is intimidating. In order to be considered a writer, a photographer, a story teller, I had to let go of the one thing that was keeping me grounded: fear.


I am very glad I did.

day four | wonder

prompt: wonder
How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?
(Author: Jeff Davis)

With four children between the ages of 10 and 14 there is no cultivation of wonder. Every day is a wonder! 

I wonder at Claire and her mercurial moods, so typical of her age. Her strength of character, sense of self and boundless spirit. Her intense sense of loyalty and kindness. She is strong and thoughtful when faced with challenges.

I wonder at Cole and his determination and focus. His lack of embarrassment when hugging his mama in public. His intelligence and sensitivity, his intense need to prove his abilities to himself. His journey to excellence.

I wonder at Chloe and her positive persistence (aka stubborn nature). Her ability to chat and sing, and then chat and sing some more. Her wide eyed looks of innocence when she has just ignored everything I've just said.

I wonder at Caden and his bright and happy outlook. His ability to rattle off some obscure statistic, usually hockey, and be 100% right. His giggle of delight at even the most mundane and routine of things.

I wonder every day at how fortunate I am to be surrounded by such lovely, opposing, challenging and loving perspectives.

day three | moment

prompt: moment
Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).
(Author: Ali Edwards)

I feel most alive in my most quiet moments.

Often I find quiet when surrounded by the noise and enthusiasm of my family.

Each summer, for too few blissful days, we spend our family holiday in Cape Cod. We pack up the truck and though the drive is a bit long, a bit tense, a bit loud, a bit quiet, a bit silly, it is our most favourite collective tradition.

We spend 10+ hours in anticipation of our arrival:

 

Through the turquoise door is my sanctuary. 

Once we're there a few days, everyone settles in. That marks the moment that hilights my year. The one when I close my eyes and breathe deeply, I feel content. I feel alive.

The windows are open and a salty ocean breeze filters through the house. Helped along with the slowly turning ceiling fan. The air is moist and rich, but not heavy in humidity. In the distance there is a buoy ringing in the ocean waves. 

I can hear Louis and Claire in the living room, talking in hushed tones. They are putting together, yet another, annual puzzle project. 1,000 pieces, of course. It is special time for them and keeps them occupied for the duration of our time away. Our time suspended. Each piece is put in place with a gentle tap-tap-tap. Then onto the next piece.

Cole, with his increasingly deep and loud voice of approaching adolescence, is chasing his little brother around in the softly rolling sand dunes. His deep shouts are followed by the occasional high pitched giggle of joy Caden releases with exuberance. They yell, they giggle, they wrestle, they chase and they enjoy their time running between the house and the beach, on the path, which makes Grampy happy, and off the path, which makes them happy while they risk meeting poison ivy and critters.

Chloé sits across from me in the family room with the iPad in her lap. She has clearly found something that keeps her interest and her eyes sparkle as she wins and moves onto the next level of the game she is playing. Chloé has a particular fondness for games of chance and opportunity, and she glows at the idea of beating the computer.

Me? I'm folding laundry on the coffee table. Much of it is fresh and warm from the dryer. Here at the beach we go through a ton of towels. The blue, red, white, black, and yellow multi-striped towels we only use here at the beach. They must be close to twenty years old, but they are soft and filled with memories. Towels in one pile and then more piles for each room and each child. Laundry folding is such a familiar routine, no thought so I am able to give way to my surroundings, my imagination.

day two | writing

prompt: writing
What do you do each day that doesn't contribute to your writing -- and can you eliminate it?
(Author: Leo Babauta)

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As a mum to four active kids, I have learned how to streamline and focus my free time to be as productive as possible even when I am engaged in the mundane mama-chores of life: laundry, cooking, cleaning and chauffeuring.

With the exception of laundry and food prep there is always an opportunity to contribute to my writing. If, by contribution, you don't have to be physically putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. When I'm not typing or holding a pen, I am observing the activities around me. Simple absorbing my surroundings - from the high energy of sports to the simple and quiet moments of homework and reading.

So, no, I cannot eliminate cooking and laundry - though I have managed to teach my kids both skills so even that has been reduced in order to afford me more time to indulge in my need to write.

To make productive use of any down time, I rarely leave home without a little portable Moleskine book and pen and I always have my camera in tow.

People are fascinating and I have plenty of opportunity to observe: when I'm in the parking lot waiting for my kids to exit school; at the rink before, during and after a hockey game; at school events and choir gatherings.  My little book is filled with descriptions of people and their behaviour, snippets of conversations, simple observations of interaction. There is always an opportunity to let your imagination wander and make up a character study about the behaviour of strangers. One of my most favourite exercises.

Things come in a close second when it comes to recording detail, vivid detail of nature, colour, purpose, tradition, values, texture. This is when the camera really comes in handy as a memory jog.

Over the last six months, I have become completely obsessed with writing and creating. I find myself in a weird, somewhat disengaged place, where I am in a constant state of observe as opposed to my regular state of engaged. It is part of the FOCUS piece. Putting all of the observations and plans together. Nothing has been done with it, but my head is filled with disjointed and vivid bits of observations and ideas.

I'm looking forward to what I do with it all!

day one | one word

prompt: one word
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)

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I started 2010 with the word FOCUS in an effort to guide the next 12 months in a positive manner I could direct and design for myself and for my kids. I am happy and surprised to say that is exactly what happened. Not only did events and happenings bring my life into focus, I spent most of my year focusing on those bits that need to be altered in order for me to live an honest, meaningful and authentic existence.

You cannot teach character, honesty or responsibility to those who don’t want to grow up. Some of the things that happened this year were scary as hell and I shudder to think they will ever be repeated. Those moments, though brief, were emotionally exhausting and spirit crushing. I realized I couldn’t fight anymore. It was time to give myself up to whatever the universe wanted to throw at me and focus on the positive.

There was a critical moment, sometime at the end of June, at which my life took a turn. A sharp, jarring turn. I experienced a set of circumstances that never should have occurred but they continue to reverberate through my person. Every day.

It was at that midway point that I decided to take ownership of my own life. I’m not 100% there yet, there are a couple of big decisions that have to be made and fear to be addressed in order to move forward, but much of the foundation, particularly of spirit, has been laid.

Out of the ashes that was once my ego and my faith, I decided to embrace my vulnerability and just go for what I wanted. I risked rejection, humiliation and criticism with a plan in place. After all, I reasoned, I was rejected, humiliated and criticized with no plan, at least this way I would be taking control of my future and set out to take a positive and productive path.

I was taking back the power I had forfeited to those who would not cheer for me anyway, no matter what I did or did not do. Like I tell my kids, you can only control your responses to the actions of others. You cannot change their actions. It was time for me to take my own advice.

Never in my wildest imaginings would I have expected at this time last year to be where I am – in mind and spirit – this year, right now. So much has changed, and still so much has, much to my frustration and fear, stayed exactly the same. But not me, my heart has changed. My perspective is totally different.

The word that guides my life, a testimony to my resilience, is ONWARD. Each year, I take the lessons of the previous 12 months and apply them to the next 12 months with hope and conscious effort to not repeat any of the same mistakes. In some ways I’m still stuck in the black place I have been for the last decade and more and in other ways I’ve managed to make positive, creative and responsible strides in my effort to live a mindful life of authenticity and kindness.

The lights of my life are my children. I am blessed for their constant trust, belief and support. They make me laugh and make me cry. They are my reason for being. They give me a reason to be truthful and courageous every day. I take my job as their role model very seriously, sometimes too seriously, but I often focus on their reaction when given a choice between A. and B. It is because of them, more often than not, I choose the honest, generous and inclusive option. They are why I am always moving onward. They are the focus and result of every positive thing in my life.

Last December, I chose the word FOCUS to guide me through 2010 and I had to mull this piece for a bit as there were so many other words that would have been equally appropriate: mercurial, own, choice, resilience, risk, fear, surrender, panic, open, courage, learn … so many. I’m glad I was able to think it through and realize that my guiding word of 2010 was the word that got me through. 

As for next year? All of this focus has to result in something, right? I’m still formulating the framework for 2011. It’s going to be great! The words have been narrowed down, but I think, right now, the word is DO.